Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Home again, Home again...Jiggety jig!

Scavenger Hunt was a success.  Addie was
terrified to crawl into my bed previous to this surgery.
Despite fevers and a bit of uncertainty, they doctor released me and I have slept in my own bed the last two nights.  Yehaw!  I was even cleared to shower (which felt amazing!)  There are no vampires sneaking in to take my blood in the middle of the night, no IV alarms going off at random times all day needing assistance, no more sponge baths by grumpy CNA's that don't really enjoy scrubbing my unreachables (yes, I am still feeling a bit rejected by a few of them.)  I am in my bed and have slept much better.  I still might need additional help if these fevers don't clear up, but I was happy for a break.  Being home is always an amazing milestone after surgery...but is harder than it sounds.  Just getting up and downstairs to fill up my water is a daunting task.  My bed is also much higher than most and feels like it engages every core muscle that was sliced just to awkwardly crawl in.  You'd think I'd have that figured out by surgery #12, but it is always hard.  I do think I am getting around a bit better than the others though.  I had tried to stay so active up until the day of my surgery because I could...and pushed through the pain. I think it is helping my recovery already.  They left a drain in the lower left area of my abdomen that is producing quite a bit of fluid and is the most awkward strap on drain that I have ever worn.  I will try to post a pic in the morning.

So many other things are on my mind...but battling cancer is much more than just chemo or those tag words you hear about so often.  My most important part of the battle is TODAY and is healing from THIS surgery and not letting small complications retell my story as they have threatened to do in the past.  I'm so disappointed that the Dr. missed a HUGE chance to do the heated chemo...but I have so much hope that amazing things are on the horizon.  I'm enjoying today...taking it one step at a time. (literally..)  I picture myself where I want to be in a few months.  I visualize my kids and I making crafts and laughing together, I picture my next doubles match in tennis and can't wait to swing my raquet.  I see myself walking with my family as the crisp fall approaches.  I see myself back to running the soccer carpools and teaching my primary kids music on Sundays. I can't wait to be back in my life doing what I love.  These chances where that is taken from me always remind me to fully appreciate each day...each moment. 


Laurene said...
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Halfords said...

I'm so glad you were able to come home!! So nice to be in your own bed! I'm praying for you!!

Auna Leigh said...

Welcome home!!!! I am so glad u can be with your family! We love you and miss u! I am sending a package soon! I'll send it to ur home cuz I'm confident you'll be there. Love ya!

Laurene said...

I am hoping, praying, that missing the opportunity for a chemo wash will somehow prove to be a blessing at this time rather than a curse. I can almost hear the giggles when I look at the "snuggle bugs" photo! I know I've said it before, but Shanda, it means so much that you are willing to share what you feel; it all heightens my awareness and sensitivities. Thank you for being there for all of us as we try in some way to be there for you.

Aly G said...

Oh Shanda, I just read your whole blog... and want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers! You are so strong and such an example of faith! I want you to know how much we are thinking of you and praying for a speedy recovery. Keep your chin up sweet girl!! Love love ya.

P.S. Tell Aana that Hadley says hello. She loves looking at her pictures on your blog, and asks frequently if "Aanas mommy is okay today!" I love ya!!

Tracey said...

I'm so happy to hear that you are finally back home! What a needed break! You and your girls look so cute! What a treasured picture. I hope your recovery goes smoothly and that you continue to find things each day to treasure. I've been enduring some turmoil of my own lately and I came back to your blog to borrow some of your strength and insight into the good things in life. You truly are an inspiration and help me as I strive to cope with my own life. I hope you continue to find the strength you need!