Sunday, January 23, 2011

She Reads...

I forgot to post, but a couple of weeks ago Addie was on school field trip to our local children's museum.  She didn't want to play, but spent the entire time making words with magnetic letters on a huge magnet board.  We spelled sentences and she kept sounding them out and reading them.  I was pretty surprised.  I haven't been able to work with her as much as I wanted this year (for obvious reasons...) but I think Aana has been a great teacher for her.  Now she is a reading machine and she is SO excited.  Tonight she told me her goal was to read all of her Dr. Seuss books by herself.  She's only 3...we need to take it one step at a time! Kids are amazing!!!  I love how happy this discovery has made her.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Blowing away...

The wind here is so bad right now and I am grateful to be inside.  My hair is falling out so badly that I am afriad I would be like a kid blowing on a dandelion if I walked outside...with all of my hair blowing away.  I am trying to preserve what is left, so I think it is best that I stay inside until this goes away! 

I guess I should share what I learned about my hair loss.  I went to specialists who tested samples of hair from all over my head.  I guess when I got so horribly ill after the last surgery and my body starting shutting killed my hair cycle as well.  It manifests 10-12 weeks later and is now all falling out.  There is nothing they can do.  We think it will start to regrow, but it will take a couple more months to even start with new peach fuzz.  I am just trying to preserve what is left in hopes I don't lose it all (though it is likely.)  I am now using ALL of the hats that were shared with me this year.  I am even going for a wig fitting. I am not sure how to feel about that, but I am reminded that it could be so much worse.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


It has been a GREAT WEEK.  I have had energy enough to start trying to organize my poor house that has been neglected all year.  One room, drawer, and cabinet at a is coming together.  When you can hardly clean for SO actually are grateful when you can do it again!  I never thought I would say this, but I am loving it!

Also...TODAY I played in my first tennis match in over a year and a half.  I didn't play very well, but I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!   My body has been ravaged and put through HELL, but is working so hard trying to heal and gain strength.  I am so extremely grateful for the miracles that have occurred.  Today seemed like the manifestation of yet another miracle to me.  It made me SO happy!  I have  had a permanent grin ever since.  I would miss a shot that I should have easily made, but it didn't bother me...I would just think...oh well, at least my body is moving!  I count my blessings everyday!!!  I'm sorry to sound SO darn cheezy, but I can't help it.  I am SO grateful for MY LIFE!!!!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A year ago today...

I got the call that changed so much in my life.  I only mention because it has been on my mind alot today.  I must be hard for doctors to have to give news like that.  Tomorrow I got to the cancer ctr. for most testing but I feel like all will be well.  That is a huge contrast from all of the testing earlier this year.  I'll take it! :)

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

SO glad it is a NEW YEAR!

2010 will be a year I will NEVER FORGET!!! I survived this year by the skin of my teeth...but each day seems to bring be a step closer to my "old" life.  I just erased the words"old Self" there is NO way that I could return to my old self and not be changed by all that happened this past year.  To quote one of my favorite songs from the musical Wicked..."I have been changed, FOR GOOD!"

I am overwhelmed as I sit and think of all of the life changing moments that are emblazoned in my mind from this last year...and of all of the things I learned.

I will never forget the doctors voice as he told me "Shanda, you have cancer!"  It was one of the ONLY times in life that I have been truly speechless.  I can't even desribe the feelings I had at that moment.

I will never forget the feeling of comfort that overcame me as I immediately prayed and brought my fears to the Lord.  I will never forget him carrying me, literally carrying me during my darkest hours when my body was failing me.  I fell asleep many nights begging for my life...and the chance to raise my children...and asking the Lord just to help me make it through that night.

I have learned that we are much stronger than we could ever imagine, especially when the Lord is on our side.

I have been reminded that the Lord hears each and every one of our prayers!

I will never forget the AMAZING SUPPORT that came from all over the country and in so many forms.  I was taught by your examples of service, compassion, tenderness, and love.  I will serve better throughout my whole life because of what I learned from YOU!  I know understand true charity as I have felt it in my life!

I have been reminded that trials are more bearable if we meet them cheerfully. 

I learned to NEVER take our bodies or our health for granted.  Wow, life is different when they are in jeopardy! 

Most importantly, I have been reminded how precious life is...and how important it is that we use our time wisely.  Cherish those moments that matter, love those around you, don't let the distractions of the world take your eyes off what matters most, don't put off the important things thinking you'll have time to do them later, and take time to smile and count your blessings each day!