A glimpse into our lives, our joys...and my battle with cancer!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Well, I figure it is time to let you know what's going on. I had my long chemo infusion yesterday. I started at 8 am and ended around 5:30. They are long days. Yesterday they gave me 13 different drugs pumped directly into my veins...and I wonder why I don't feel well today. Only 4 of those were chemo drugs...the other 9 were given to help combat the chemo symptoms. I fell asleep in the chair..don't remember driving home...and slept all day today. I think my body will be thrilled to get rid of all the poisons I keep forcing in. Today I feel worse than I have in a LONG time. There is no sugar coating it...I look like heck and feel even worse. My friends that have stopped by might now be scared off for good. I will avoid the mirror today. My hair loss seems to have slowed and I feel lucky to have what I do. This picture isn't the best, but was a quick snapshot when I got home from church on Sunday when I at least tried to get dressed. You can see I am still attached to a pump, which is the tube coming out of my shirt. I wear the pump continuously for three weeks on...one week off. Repeat. My fingernails are getting black spots and are starting to die, my skin is crazy dry and strange, my stomach and bowels are in complete trauma...and now my kidneys are being hurt by the chemo and is causing me to lose protein in my urine and has caused a pretty big rise in my bloodpressure. (so...I have to take even more medicine for that...surprise!) I really wonder if there is a better method of doing this. I don't like what all of this is doing to me!!!! Please pray that my doctors will know how to best treat me and that I will have the strenght to continue! Thanks!