Coping...and gaining strength

(Warning: This might be very rambling.  I am on some strong pain medicines, and my body isn't used to it.  If this isn't coherent, I apologize.)  The is the first time I have been on a computer in over a week...and it has been a LONG week.  The surgery was a little bit more intense than I expected.  The truth is...I was so busy asking questions about my cancer, that I barely asked any questions about the surgery.  As Larry mentioned, it was a success and I am recovering.  I got home from the hospital on Friday afternoon and I have been keeping my bed warm since.  Today I mustered up the energy to come downstairs to update my blog.  I am feeling stronger, and am so grateful that I am no longer on a clear liquid diet.  That lasted most of last week and had me so weak.  I don't have much of an appetite, but I am grateful for a regular diet. 

The Dr. removed half of my colon and several lymph nodes in the surgery.  They were all sent to pathology and we got some preliminary results back but will wait another week for the rest.  There were not any more tumors in what was removed which was great news...but they did find some very irregular gland cells that were red flags, so they have sent my sample to a GI specialty lab that will hopefully be able to identify them.   I am trying not to think about the "what if's" right now...and am focusing all of my energy on healing.  While I was in the hospital, they did do a tumor board on my cancer where my Dr. presented my case to a board of oncologists and other specialty doctors.  They decided that this case will be better handled elsewhere and I know that I will need to travel for some consultations so that I can get the best possible care.  The oncologists that are local don't even do the type of Chemo that I will likely be receiving.  It is a treatment that involves surgery where they will open up my abdomen, strip my whole abdominal cavity of the lining, and pour in a very hot chemo treatment to figh the cancer that might be there.  I will have to travel to do this and will be hospitalized for a few weeks when they do it.  It scares me...and I just don't want to think about it yet.   (For the researchers out there...it is called heated intraperitoneal chemotherapy or HIPEC)   Lets not go down that road yet though...it is the most likely outcome with what we currently know...but there is a chance that I won't need to do that...and I am desperately holding on to that chance.  I will however, do whatever I need to do beat this, and give myself the best odds to be cancer free in the future!!!

FYI:  I have felt so uplifted by your cards, messages, emails, flowers, thoughts, and prayers.  I am so grateful that I do not feel alone in this fight!  I am sorry that I can't respond individually to your messages, but please keep them coming.  They give me strength...and I need it right now!!!

I do receive emails on my phone, but it is challenging to respond to them from my phone.  My iphone keyboard doesn't work well with the amount of medicines that I am on.   I also do get an email each time you leave a post...and I am SO grateful for the time you take to send a message or leave a post.  If anyone wants to email me at anytime, my address is: shandalee@gmail.com.

I thank you again for all of your support.  I will post all information as it comes...so come back.  I thank you so much for all of your time, support, prayers, positive thoughts...and know that I CAN beat this!!!