Update

Last week, I went to another specialist who perscribed a new medicine to try and control some of my symptoms.  It was supposed to have been 3 home injections per day.  They worked pretty well for some symptoms, but made me very nauseous, weak, and really caused problems with my eyes...blurring my vision badly.  They have given me so many medicines...and now I am taking medicines to control the side effects from the medicines...and more to control their side effects...and so on.  It is almost ridiculous!  Previous to this, I only took a multivitamin.   The specialists and my oncologists are still unable to figure out why my symptoms (ok...lets just say what it is....diarrhea) has been so severe.  I have struggled eating, drinking, and staying hydrated since my first infusion which was over a month ago.  The injections slowed it enough that they tried a partial infusion on Tuesday, but they left out the drug that they think made me so ill.  I tolerated that chemo well with just regular side effects.   The problem, is that it is the MOST critical part of my chemo...and I can't afford to leave that out...because it will greatly decrease the effectivenes of the chemo.  We can't reduce the dose...or it will also reduce the effectiveness.  Basically, they took it out for this one round to allow a bit more time for my bowels to heal, but next round, we have to return...full force.  My next round will be on the 17th...and I am VERY nervous that it will start this cycle that has been so miserable this last month.  I have decided that NO matter what...we are just going to carry on.  If I end up in the hospital on IV nutrition and fluids for part of the time...than I have to do that.  I NEED this chemo...and just need to make it though six months.  I also want to get it going so that I can be done by Christmas.  The delays are already pushing treatments into November...

On the BRIGHT side...I can tell you that I had 3 days where I felt the best that I have in months.  I am NOT sure what caused them, but all I can think is that they were a direct result of all of our prayers. (and I needed them!)  They allowed me to feel somewhat normal...spend some quality time with my familly...and they gave me some strength and hope that I will be myself again one day again.  Today I am back to being pretty miserable...but my resolve is even stronger now, and I just want to get this over with!

Your continued support, messages, cards, visits, and packages are the brightest parts of my days...so thank you, thank you, thank YOU!!!!  You will never know how much those things mean to my family and I!