Thursday, February 3, 2011

Present ponderings

I'm feeling stronger and tackling  more each day.  The past two weeks have been cleaning out the garage...which for those that saw it before can understand what a task it was.  I have given away ALL of my girls baby clothes, the crib, etc.  Is it just me, or are those moments bittersweet?  Sweet because my husband will quit nagging me...(sorry Larry) but sad in that I was parting with SO many memories...and a VERY dear chapter of my life.  I held on to them in hopes another child would come into our lives.  I'm not sure that could happen now.  There really aren't any others who have conceived after the HIPEC (heated chemo and accompanying surgeries) that I have had.  I LOVE motherhood...and my prayer is that if there are more that are meant for our family...that they will somehow come.  My heart is willing and open.  (sorry, tough topic for me, but I wanted to vent it.)

On the flip side, I am thrilled that I am getting to raise the beautiful girls that I have.  We treasure each day...and often stop to offer our gratitude that I am feeling well enough to do whatever we had been doing at that time.  My life has changed dramatically over the past year~no doubt about that!

I am the president of our family's party planning committee (jk!) which is working HARD this week.  For those that don't know, my daughters were both born on the same day...just 4 years apart.  I am hosting Addie's little party tomorrow morning...and Aana's on Saturday morning.  I am busy, but happy.  I can't complain.  It is SO wonderful to be able to DO things...

4 comments:

Laurene said...

Such wise ponderings: to enjoy the life that is given and focus on the riches that are ours! Thank you, Shanda. I'm glad you check in here periodically!!!

Lexie said...

I love your ponderings and your perspective. I think it is really hard to give up things that have sentimental value, especially when it feels like it could be closing a chapter of your life. I love that you are doing so much better though and that you get to share more quality time with your beautiful girls.

Auna Leigh said...

and you know how how to LOVE life! I love your attitude! You are always sooooo postive! I am glad life is good!!! you sound like you are in a good place. take care!

The Person Family said...

I'm so glad you're doing well and spending quality time with your family. :) Happy birthday to your beautiful girls.