Thursday, September 30, 2010

Just not much to say...But I'm STILL here!

I am still in the hospital, and hope to be able to go home soon.  I will be going home with IV antibiotics and a wound vac and will require home health to come out quite a bit to change the dressings, etc. 

I am struggling with this surgery and hospitalization.  For the others, I knew I was doing it for a great cause...fighing cancer.  I was inspired by the wonderful life that I still want to lead and by my great desire to raise my children.  Every pain I felt and hard thing I encountered was just a hurdle in the way of my goal. 

I guess this one is technically another hurdle, I am just struggling with it because I am no longer fighting cancer.  I am here because of a Dr.'s mistake...and something about that makes this hospitalization much harder.  I was admitted a week ago...and each day has been painful for several different reasons.

I wish I could suspend my blog and allow no readers until things are going better.(because I hate being/feeling so negative)  I can't wait to be able to share stories of cherished time spent with my kids or of me feeling better and enjoying my new lease on life.  Thanks for bearing with me.  This too shall pass...

The woun

10 comments:

Carol said...

HONESTLY GETTING ANGRY AND BEING NEGATIVE IS PART OF EVERY HUMAN. IT'S AN EMOTION AND I DON'T MIND IT. IT SHOWS YOUR A FIGHTER AND YES THIS TOO WILL PASS. I DO LOOK FORWARD TO READING ABOUT MOMENTS OF RAISING KIDS AND GETTING BACK TO LIFE. UNTIL THEN IT'S GOOD TO KNOW UR STILL FIGHTING AND ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY.

Tracey said...

I can't even begin to imagine how frustrated you must be, to have gone through so much to just wind up where you are right now is so discouraging. If you didn't feel that way you wouldn't be human. You are amazing and even though this is a huge set back you'll get past this one as well!!! We will be praying that it can come more quickly!!!!

Auna Leigh said...

hey beautiful! i totally understand the negativeness bit. but you have an actual reason to be grumpy. So when i was down i challenged myself to study the Proclamation and memorize it. I have almost 3 paragraphs meomorized. It is helping better understand my purpose, all of our purposes! now i am sure you are done reading words i can't spell. sorry. have a great day and read that thing, it'll help! love you!

Natalie said...

We are praying for you! Keep on fighting. Don't suspend your blog, SHanda. We all want to hear your updates...the good and bad. Hope there are more good to come soon!

rc said...

Shanda-your struggles are difficult-but as you have learned not impossible to survive. You inspire all of us daily and you are helping all of us get through our minor battles. You have a cure under your belt-now the healing has begun. It may take weeks but you have made it so far already. Randy has a wound from his abdominal abscess this August-it looks like it may close by Thanksgiving. He even is doing his own dressing changes. He started back on chemo last Monday.
Take care dear friend-we need to continue to lead us.
Robbie

Laurene said...

I have a difficult time shrugging of grudges. I really like what Elder Anderson said in afternoon conference today: a quote from Joseph Smith to Parley P. Pratt when he was struggling, "Parley, walk such things under your feet and God will be with you."

Aly G said...

I can't imagine!! I am so glad you are hangin in there and sharing what you are going through with all of us. Your amazing and seriously never negative, just telling what is honestly going on! Reading and seeing what you are going through has made me realize that I should never take anything for granted! I am so glad your cancer is gone! Just take your time and get better!! It will all be over so soon! I sure love ya!:) You are in our prayers! Luvs!!!!!

The Person Family said...

Shanda- I'm frustrated for you! Whenever I read your updates, I'm thinking, "Can't Shanda catch a break?" I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this and I will as always continue to pray for you and your family. Try to stay postive beacause you ARE still fighting for the time with your family. Hope you're on your way to health very soon!

Morgan Greaves said...

Hi Shanda...I don't know if you remember me but our paths crossed for a short time in dental school. I'm so sorry to hear about all that you have endured this year. You are an inspiration and I hope that things begin to look up for you real, real soon. You are not negative at all and it's good to get those frustrations out and vent so. Don't keep it inside. We are all hear to cheer you on anytime you are having a bad day! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you a very speedy recovery! xo - Morgan

Auds Beck said...

Shanda you are still a continual example of strength and patience. through your posts you have helped all of us be more grateful for what we have and not take it for granted or sweat the "little" stuff! You are ALWAYS in our thoughts and prayers and you will get through this! Thank you for being so candid and sharing with us your tender feelings! You are INCREDIBLE!