The truth is...I have known them since last Monday. The scan showed a good sized, irregularly shaped mass deep in my pelvic area about where my cervix used to be. Is it cancer? Well, there is no way of knowing for sure right now, but we do have to look at my history...and the fact that it just appeared out of nowhere since my last scan in January. What is next?... that's the big question right now. My doctors don't think my body can take another big surgery...and we know all of the chemos that I tried didn't work...because I have had multiple reocurrences in the last year. (I have had over 30 scans in the last two years...and they have NEVER seen actual cancer in the images...because I have an elusive type...so in all honesty...the fact that we see something came as a surprise and terrifies me. I have always know that IF they ever saw anything...that I would be in trouble!)
So where does that leave me? Well.. it leaves me with a lot of questions and uncertainty of what is in my near future...but even more FAITH...and hope...and an even stronger desire to kick cancer's butt! For today...I continue to LIVE!!!
6 comments:
Praying for you and the decisions you have to make!
Crazy but the thought that comes to mind is "what we don't know doesn't hurt us". Lame I know. I guess I just mean that sometimes we feel great until someone gives us a reason to feel otherwise. I don't have any idea what they are seeing but I hope it's not a threat.
Shanda, I don't know if you remember me from Mayfield. I can't even remember how long we were in the ward together, but I believe we moved to Medina before you all left Ohio.
I've been following your story since it began. I had a health scare at the same time. I am very fortunate to be here with my family, as are you. I just wanted to let you know how much you've helped me. It's hard not to get down sometimes, and honestly, it's hard not to be paranoid sometimes, especially when you know it can occur again. BUT you've helped me focus on the positive not the negative over this last year. I just wanted to let you know. We don't usually get to know why we have certain trial, but sometimes we get to know how we help others by the way we react to our trials.
Thanks so much, and you are always in our prayers.
Robyn Holladay
Shanda,
It was a little hectic day after church but somehow we got everyone gathered around to offer a prayer for you!
We've been fasting for you, and we think you are just such a strong girl! We're glad you are part of our eternal family.
The spirit was so sweet as we prayed--we prayed for ministering angels to be with you--and we hope, that everything will turn out fine.
Love The Griffins
I've been thinking so much about you! I remember a lesson you gave when I was a teenager in young womens. It was lesson all about the Savior. I remember how emotional you were. It was such an impacting lesson for me as a young girl! Thank you so much for being such a great example!! I continue to look up to you and your incredible strength!
Sorry that the results were crazy, once again. As crazy as it sounds, I really, really hope it is nothing. I'm so impressed with the way you are outliving it and making the most of each day.
Love you!
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