Everyone keeps asking me how I am...and I will tell you all, I have been better. But that doesn't mean that I am miserable or any other negative term. An amazing thing happened over the last 36 hours...I have accepted that I am now a CANCER patient. I feel power in just the acceptance and my ability to share my diagnosis with my friends and loved ones...and share my experience. I will try to keep this not like a journal, but I might share some of my thoughts as this journey unfolds.
Day one was a shock...it felt as though time stopped...at least my time, and I worked on trying to own my diagnosis. Day two was the first appointment that gave me some answers. For those that want to know the type of cancer (but please don't tell me what you find when you google it!) I have appendiceal cancer and the tumor was called mucinous adenocarcinoma. The cancer didn't appear in the ct scans I Have had...but there were no other tumors visible either...so that could be promising. The couple of lymph nodes they took out with my appendix were also clean, but the dr. let me know that he needs a larger sampling.
Today I am ready to fight this, but I am needing sleep. Maybe that will be tonight....
Tomorrow they fit me in for a colonoscopy to check on my colon and MONDAY will be my big surgery. I will be in the hospital for awhile...and will not get lab results for a week or so. That will be hard...just waiting...to know my fate. I can handle one day at a time right now...and that is all that I know.
I WILL DO THIS!!! I am so grateful it is me and not my children or husband. I know the Lord is with me...and I will be fine. Please continue your prayers. I have a strong testimony that the Lord hears and answers our prayers... I accept his will, but I feel good about the outcome. Everything will be okay!
6 comments:
Shanda, your last paragraph absolutely had me crying. Your attitude is phenomenal. Colon cancer runs in my family, and we have to have colonoscopy's quite often. I will pray that you recover ever so quickly. The power of prayer is REAL and you have quite the army praying for you. Stay strong and continue to rely on Heavenly Father to give you strength and he will provide.
Shanda, The amount of people that have said they will be praying for you on your blog & Facebook are numerous. God will surely be hearing your name a lot. He’s going to say” This Shanda lady must be pretty special & we need to keep her here for many many more years".
Shanda,
I don't know if you remember me or not but I have so enjoyed the small glimpse I've had of your life thru Facebook. I have thought so often how you have grown into a really lovely woman and felt so proud of you and happy for your beautiful family. I was so sad to hear about the challenge you're facing now but, reading your blog and your Facebook entries gives me assurance that you are very strong and will have the attitude you'll need to overcome this! Just know that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your family. Please let your parents that they are also being thought of with loving memories.
Becky Bearden
You guys and your kind, heartfelt words bring me comfort...and are so appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to share them with me.
shanda,
this post is amazing. what you said about being glad it's you and not your husband or kids -- that touched me so much. and that you won't use negative words to describe how you are -- wow. i think about how much i complain about every little thing. you are truly incredible.
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