I got to be part of an article written to end the newspaper's month of "faces with cancer." This was focused on living with cancer. I wasn't pictured because our schedules conflicted...but I felt grateful to be included.
It has been interesting to think afterward of what I reallly should have said and what living with cancer really means to me. Most of my ephiphanies come in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping and I can't...when my body hurts each time I move and my mind is weighed down with too many things to allow me to sleep. I don't remember them all right now, but here are a few that are in my mind.
For me, living with cancer means:
A lifetime of doctors appointments...and hanging on each word they say as their words determine my future.
Always holding a dark umbrella, but making extra effort to not live in it's shadow.
Being aware of every single minute in my life...and accountable for it.
ALWAYS keeping my focus on the sunshine...even in the dark.
Letting go of independence and relying on others for help with everything when needed.
Cherishing each gift life has to offer...and the simplest often mean the most or would be the most missed.
Not allowing petty things to ruin my day/relationship...because time is so valuable.
Being able to turn EVERYTHING in your life over to the Lord.
PATIENCE...on SO many levels!
Knowing that sometimes there is no way of fixing it.
Learning how to say "no" in life...and focusing all energy and time on what's most important.
Realizing that health is much deeper than physical appearance...looking healthy doesn't mean being healthy.
Being BRAVE even when you really want to curl up and cry.
Sharing love and kindness when you can...for no reason. Becasuse it has meant the world to me.
Pressing forward in FAITH and HOPE... NOT FEAR...and knowing that I've done everything I can do.