I got to be part of an article written to end the newspaper's month of "faces with cancer." This was focused on living with cancer. I wasn't pictured because our schedules conflicted...but I felt grateful to be included.
It has been interesting to think afterward of what I reallly should have said and what living with cancer really means to me. Most of my ephiphanies come in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping and I can't...when my body hurts each time I move and my mind is weighed down with too many things to allow me to sleep. I don't remember them all right now, but here are a few that are in my mind.
For me, living with cancer means:
A lifetime of doctors appointments...and hanging on each word they say as their words determine my future.
Always holding a dark umbrella, but making extra effort to not live in it's shadow.
Being aware of every single minute in my life...and accountable for it.
ALWAYS keeping my focus on the sunshine...even in the dark.
Letting go of independence and relying on others for help with everything when needed.
Cherishing each gift life has to offer...and the simplest often mean the most or would be the most missed.
Not allowing petty things to ruin my day/relationship...because time is so valuable.
Being able to turn EVERYTHING in your life over to the Lord.
PATIENCE...on SO many levels!
Knowing that sometimes there is no way of fixing it.
Learning how to say "no" in life...and focusing all energy and time on what's most important.
Realizing that health is much deeper than physical appearance...looking healthy doesn't mean being healthy.
Being BRAVE even when you really want to curl up and cry.
Sharing love and kindness when you can...for no reason. Becasuse it has meant the world to me.
Pressing forward in FAITH and HOPE... NOT FEAR...and knowing that I've done everything I can do.
8 comments:
Perfectly written. You are beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing your moments so freely. You have changed me, for the better! You have a wealth of experiences that has shaped you and given so many opportunities to be more Christlike. Am I little envious? No. Now they wouldn't be very Shanda like! Love you girl and who you are!!! Keep trudging along.
Thanks for sharing. I read the piece in the papper. It was great. Your are a great writer. Life is amazing in all aspects and how it all intertwines with each other and thier lives. I am glad to be a friend and let me know if I can help in any way. Annette
You're amazing, Shanda. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I know my mom and our family can only empathize with just a small part of what you're feeling, but I do feel that we have a little better idea now with what she's gone through. I know the Lord will continue to give you and your family strength. As always, you're in our thoughts and prayers.
Beautiful! You have shown others that it will not keep you from living and are truly a person to measure life by. Seizing every moment that is given to us and not wasting it should be everyone's goal. I love you girl!!
On another note, Danielle's senior thesis for her photography degree was called "Faces of Cancer" and she continues to add to it today. Same concept in a way, but also showing how survivors do not let cancer stop them from doing what they love.
http://krapinskiphotography.weebly.com/faces-of-cancer.html
You go girl!! We love you and pray for you and your sweet family. Thank you for being so candid and for the incredible example you are of eternal optimism and courage.
Your words are so inspiring and your courage and attitude are awesome. I know many have be encouraged and helped by your open attitude and sharing of your experience. Warren and I just wanted you to know we are thinking of you this Thanksgiving time of year and thankful for how much you have been able to endure as well enjoy in life this year. Ruth & Warren G
I treasure these heart and soul felt reflections. I have been out of touch for two weeks with my mother's stroke, funeral, and sorting things out in her home and with family. I was in Salt Lake and there is no Internet connection in Mother's home. I brought a few tangible treasured memories back with me. I've noticed how I'll get a whiff of the scent of her home when I walk past the rooms I've displayed them in.
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