More questions than answers! But here's what I know

I have gone to a few appointments this week to get results from recent ct scans and other tests.   I have known from the beginning that my cancer is rarely detected in these tests.  I had over 10 ct scans and they were never able to "see" my stage 4 cancer.  I have an elusive cancer breed, I guess. 

That being said, they didn't see tumors on my scans, but there was other evidence of malignancy.  I have some tests with liver counts that are worrisome (apparently I'm close to being jaundice...no yellowing yet, but I am itchy all over and I guess that is why.)  I also have more of that fluid build-up back in my abdominal cavity.  Last time I had this,  I looked pregnant overnight and this one is accumulating much slower.  My remaining ovary and uteris are painful, angry and are covered in cysts, but they are very hesitant to operate on me to fix them.  Basically, the drs are scratching their heads and wondering what to do next.  So...we can't see cancer, but can't explain other sympotms that are most often caused by cancer.   We are going to try to wait and see what happens with the ascites (fluid)...and will likely have it drained and checked for malignancy.   Beyond that, I'm not sure. 

But...I feel good...I wish there were more definitive answers, but am grateful at least that they didn't see anything big or obvoius.  I am enjoying the break from chemo, surgeries, and hospitals.  I feel like I am good hands both medically and spiritually.  That is enough to keep me going!  I continue to count my blessings everyday!