The traveling continues...Utah or BUST!

 We took a needed trip to see my husband's side of the family in Utah and had so much fun.  We went to a dinosaur museum, played at Trafalga, went to the Hale Center Theater and saw an awesome musical, went to the BYU bookstore (a highlight for my family...), lit a million fireworks (no...we didn't start the fires in the mountains)...and saw THE BEACH BOYS in concert at the Stadium of Fire!  We loved being able to catch up with everyone and renew those important ties of family!  Aana also got to go to BYU soccer camp, which was like a dream come true for her.  It was just a great trip!

Colorado FUN and Sharing FD love!

I got the chance to take a quick trip to Denver for a long weekend with my mom so that we could go speak at an event for an organization to raise awareness and money for an organization that is so near and dear to my heart....First Descents!  My mom got the see the current cut of the film that I am in called "Out Living It"... which was so great to be able to share with her.  It is still being entered in film festivals, but I promise to let you know when we can all go see it.

Kayak gear is HOT! Right?

Working on my ROLL!

After an amazing hike to Hanging Lake!

We had a blast!!! We visited friends and I got a chance to share with her some things that have meant so much to me this last year.  I got to take her whitewater kayaking on the exact rivers where I learned last summer...and with the exact amazing instructor!  Thank you again...Renaissance Adventure Guides for the amazing weekend!

And the last thing we did was speak at the First Descents Summer Solstice party.  It was held on the longest (and HOTTEST) day of the year and celebrated life...and raised money to change more lives like mine.  I felt honored to have the chance to share my story and will post the video of it soon!  The audience was amazing, generous, and kind.  It was a wonderful experience all around! (And...we were so glad once our speaking parts were over!)

I thought about sending announcements...

Seriously...my warped sense of humor thought it would be funny, but someone may have taken me serious.  But, my amazing Addie graduated from preschool.  She was very excited and it was a fun day.  Now...she is going to be in Kindergarten.

I love days like this

So many days have just flown by that I feel bad I haven't recorded more...but here are some pictures from Memorial Day.  We were invited to a friend's house to ride horses and play on her zip line.  We also saw the flags at the local cemetery. On so many levels...it was just a wonderful day.  Being outside, enjoying nature, with a blue sky above and feeling the sun.  Making memories with my family.  Remembering those that have gone before.  And smiling...all day!  That is the essence of life!

Inconclusive results...but I continue to THRIVE

I just heard from my surgical oncologist and the latest test results didn't give any answers.  It was more of something I asked for them to do...for my sake.  I wanted ALL tests possible to be ordered so that maybe we could get answers to some of the unknowns in my body.  For now, my team of doctors agree that I should continue to gain strength, stay positive, keep living my dream, and repeat a huge battery of tests in two more months.  That will give time for the mass that was there to grow and spread...OR...(yes...I still pray for miracles)...DISAPPEAR!  Last month I was in a lot of pain and just didn't feel well.  I pushed through and tried not to let it slow my life down, because that helps me feel strong.  But...I had some rough days.

This week has been good so far...and I am BUSY~  I tend to thrive in what others would consider chaos.  I like my life to be FULL all all the things I love...and that is what I am doing while I can.  Living a FULL and fantastic life!  I have been working on new ZumbAtomic routines for my classes, working on an ace serve for tennis, reorganizing my house and garage, practicing kayaking in my living room, developing lesson plans for my music students, developing new healthy, nourishing recipes for my family, finding treasures at yard sales, RE-learning how to love riding a bike, weeding and planting flowers, speaking at local events and advocating for cancer patients that reach out to me, teaching my children about the scriptures, and laughing at myself as I go.  I can tell you that my life is far from perfect...but I LOVE IT!

PS- You know I captain a USTA tennis team...and we found out we officially are advancing to sectionals in Portland this August.  This is one of those hidden blessings in my cancer journey.  They want to retest me in August...and that works perfectly so that I can live it up ALL summer and fight cancer again this fall. (Yes...I am staying positive and thinking they will offer me a treatment soon!) Remember...when it seems like doors are closing and life isn't going the way you think.  Find the silver lining...and focus on your blessings.  I wish there were treatment...but instead, I will be thankful to have summer full of the things I LOVE!

Printable Father's Day Ideas

In case you need some inspiration for a fun idea...this blog has compiled 50 great printables.

A big test and cheers to trying new things...

I've been fasting and prepping for another test tomorrow that MIGHT shed some light on what is going on inside my body.   I am have been really feeling new symptoms this last week, so I am getting anxious to get more answers and figure out a plan.  The uncertainty is very unsettling.  I can handle not feeling well...and try not to let it slow me down, but what I don't like...it is forshadowing of what might lay ahead.  I've been down this road a  few other times...and it led to some pretty tough years.  I pray this will not be another beginning to incredibly bumpy roads ahead...but I feel strong and am ready if that is what is needed.

In the mean time,  I have a busy day tomorrow.  I will be in the hospital all morning doing more tests.  I am running for PTO president tomorrow evening for my daughter's elementary school...AND I am a speaker at an enrichment (womens meeting) focusing on Inspirational things.  No pressure, right?  Not sure how I got qualified there, but I have been praying that I can deliver a message that will share hope to someone that is battling a trial of their own.    I guess I need a lot of good luck tomorrow. 

This inspired me today...

Make it a goal...to face your trials with FAITH...and allow them to make you STRONGER!

~Way to go Seattle Children's Hospital nurses for putting this together!

Results...

The truth is...I have known them since last Monday.  The scan showed a good sized, irregularly shaped mass deep in my pelvic area about where my cervix used to be.   Is it cancer?  Well, there is no way of knowing for sure right now, but we do have to look at my history...and the fact that it just appeared out of nowhere since my last scan in January.   What is next?... that's the big question right now.  My doctors don't think my body can take another big surgery...and we know all of the chemos that I tried didn't work...because I have had multiple reocurrences in the last year.   (I have had over 30 scans in the last two years...and they have NEVER seen actual cancer in the images...because I have an elusive type...so in all honesty...the fact that we see something came as a surprise and terrifies me.  I have always know that IF they ever saw anything...that I would be in trouble!)  

So where does that leave me? Well.. it leaves me with a lot of questions and uncertainty of what is in my near future...but even more FAITH...and hope...and an even stronger desire to kick cancer's butt!  For today...I continue to LIVE!!!

My life...

I am feeling the best I have in a couple of years.  I have adapted to the changes in my body due to having several organs removed, resected, and rearranged.  I am regaining strength and energy.   My days are busy...and filled with good things.  Often they have gotten too busy...but I have a hard time not just trying to fit in ALL of the things I want to do.  I push myself until I am exhausted...and feel SO incredibly grateful to be able to do it.

I am captaining a tennis team that I think is advancing to sectionals this summer.  We have been practicing so much...and I have had to work even harder to make up for my numb legs, lack of muscle from being hospitalized, and other set backs.  I am teaching at least 2 zumbAtomic (kids zumba) classes a week at our local gym...plus extra ones at local schools to promote FUN fitness for kids.  I volunteer and teach music twice on sundays to kids from 3-11 years old though my church...and LOVE that opportunity even though it takes a lot of time.  I have been given some chances to speak on my experience and share the message of HOPE during trials...and that has been amazing.  Plus...I am first and foremost...a mom to my girls and wife.  Beyond being a soccer shuttle, a volunteer at the school, a preschool carpool, and all of the other things that are part of the daily grind... I have to say that I FEEL SO GRATEFUL TO BE BACK in MY LIFE...being able to do it all.   Some days, I'll admit... I am worn out and spread thin...but it is such a blessing!

I sometimes have to slow down amidst the amazing chaos of life and remember where I was just a last year....and I am amazed at the miracles that have transpired.

"Out Living It" Movie Premiere

At the Wheeler theater right before the premiere.

Sorry for the delay in posting....life has been a whirlwind...but I couldn't miss the chance to tell about my amazing weekend at the Aspen FilmFest!  My husband had to work and watch my girls, but I got the chance to fly to Colorado for the premiere of the movie I am part of called "Out Living It."  I posted the trailer of the film before...but the movie is SO MUCH more fantastic.  I knew I had some role in it, but didn't realize how much until I got there.  That was a really neat surprise.  I got to be reunited old friends from dental school, with First Descents friends, and the amazing film and production crew from Serac Adventure Films.  The audience recognized me and waited in line afterwards to talk to me...which was quite the experience.  It was surreal...watching my story unfold on the big screen.  The film won a special "audience recognition" award and was invited to other festivals.  Next up is Breckenridge and another one in Los Angeles.  If you are in those areas and could check it out...let me know and I'll give you the details.   There will be several more to come as well...and I will keep you posted.  Please check it out if you get the chance.  The whole experience meant so much to me.  And...my girls were in the movie! :) 
Also...an amazing friend gave me kids kid's kayak for my daughters...and I flew it home...that was a gift I'll treasure forever.  My oldest connects kayaking with her mom coming back to life...so she wants to learn it so badly.  So that was a priceless gift! I can't wait to hit the river with her!

Michael Brown (Emmy winning director), some FD friends (co-stars), and Kim McKee (VP of Serac Adventure Films)

First Descent's new Mobile office.

Hoping...

I am drinking the contrast for another CT scan this morning and am anxious.  This has never been a good diagnostic tool for my cancer, but is the best option currently.  I will get my results next monday.  I just returned from a most amazing trip to Aspen, Co and will blog about that later today.

~LUCKY vs. Blessed~

I was preparing my lesson to teach for singing time on sunday...and found myself thinking alot about  "LUCK." I often catch myself saying how LUCKY I have been in different situations. I was reading a different music blog that inspired me yesterday. I am going to focus and reminded myself to give MORE credit to the tender mercies of a loving, AMAZING Heavenly Father...than to LUCK. I know the Lord is aware of each of us in our lives...and is truly with us ALWAYS...we often overlook his blessings and attribute them to good luck or coincidence.
I feel so LUCKY in so many ways...but REALLY feel so BLESSED!!!

ExCiTiNg NEWS!! and INTRO to "Out Living It"

I'm not sure where to even start with this...because I am so passionate about it and excited about the project!  By now you have all read about the AMAZING whitewater kayaking retreat I did last summer for cancer survivors through First Descents... and what I didn't write about at the time was that we had Michael Brown of Serac Films there filming with his stellar crew.  Michael has won 3 Emmys as well as MANY other awards for his films...and beyond that he is just an amazing, humble, kind man. 

They filmed our adventures there and are finishing a movie about our group of cancer survivors and our experience. I feel honored and humbled by the chance to be included and share part of my experience. I even had some filming done at my house later just to get some footage of my family spending time together.  The film is premiering at the Aspen Film Festival in the ShortsFest on April 14th...and I will be flying out for the premier.  Because how many other times in life will I see myself on screen for an renowed film festival?  I'm so excited to see it!!!!  They just released a small trailer that you can view below.  
The intro is Michael Brown, the amazing director....explaining that the film has the potenetial to change lives....and do amazing things.  He has donated all of his time, talents, and energy since last summer getting it ready, but it needing donations to help them finish editing, finish the sountrack, and distributing it nationwide to make a difference.  The trailer follows his quick comments.  I am in several of the shots.  My FD name is "Limbo"...and I have a red boat!  Check it out!  Tell me what you think of the trailer.l The link is where you can make a donation...and even $1 is hugely appreciated to finish this amazing project.
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1764041027/out-living-it

Over 200 kids...and a TON of energy!

I can't even tell you how tired I am....but the Zumbatomic classes were a hit.  Someone took a video I hope to post later today.  I taught over 200 girls and ALL of them participated and had so much fun!  Great day!!

It begins!

Tomorrow I start teaching Zumbatomic...and will be teaching 9 mini-classes for 6 hours straight!!!  It is for a volunteer church program for girls.  It will be an exhausting blast!!!  I'll let you know how it goes.  I just can't believe I can even do it!  Again I find myself being so grateful for LIFE!!!!!

The things KIDS say...

Today when I picked Addie up from preschool, I could tell her teacher was acting a bit funny. She told me Addie hadn't been feeling well.  When I got in the car, I asked her how she was feeling and what she told her teacher.  She said, "I told my teacher I was really sick and that you told me not to tell her or she would send me home."  Hmm...
Well, I did tell her that she had allergies and needed to take meds this morning, but that she wasn't really sick...so not to worry or tell her teachers.  So I guess she was kind of right.

More zumba training...and More Fun!

I'm continuing my journey in my "Life List"...and accomplished two things this week.  One was that I taught myself how to french braid.  You might laugh, but it was on my list.  And now it is checked off.

Next, I put myself out there again and spent this wekend in Portland becoming licensed to be a Zumbatomic instructor.  I already did the adult Zumba instructor training...but this was a separate class.  Zumbatomic is an amazing kids fitness program and I can't wait to start teaching it in this area.  It is really SO MUCH FUN!! I'm sore and exhausted, but excited.  I'll give you more details as they come.
I continue to show MY body that I am the boss...not cancer!

I've come so far...and I'm SO grateful!

 I had to go through my surgery pics for a different project and have been able to see how far I've really come.  There are SO many things that have changed in my body, my life, and my perspective...but it is humbling to see where I came from.  Life is such a blessing!
My advice... Whatever your trials are (as we ALL have them)...keep putting one foot in front of the other...keep counting your blessings...keep looking toward the sun and finding the silver lining.  There is ALWAYS a silver lining...Trials will always be there...but SO are the blessings!

Great day...and a great cause!

I just got home from playing in my first tennis tournament.   It as a Net Benefit to support our local cancer center resource center.  A new tennis friend and I played doubles and we won our division!   It was a very friendly low stress tournament, but was a great start to competitive tennis for me.

I felt grateful...to be on court... to be running for great shots down the alley...and feeling STRONG.  I am continually amazed at our ability to heal...and am thankful my  VERY IMPERFECT body and my LIFE.  I have learned to really slow down and cherish those moments....as they happen.  Not cherishing the victory, but the ability to play.   It was fun to be a SURVIVOR playing in a cancer charity tournament.  Thanks to all those that participated and earned so much for such a great cause!